The Power of Positive Language and Affirmations: The Words They Hear Become the Words They Say to Themselves

As parents and caregivers, the way we speak to our children, about ourselves, and in everyday situations becomes the script our kids will carry in their minds for years to come. Whether they’re solving a math problem, dealing with a tough friendship, or learning something new, that little voice in their head will echo what they’ve heard most often.

That voice can either be a cheerleader or a critic. And we have more influence over which one it becomes than we might realize.

Our Reactions Shape Their Responses

Children are watching how we handle frustration. When we sigh heavily over spilled juice or mutter unkind words when we forget something, they’re not just learning about the moment—we’re teaching them how to treat themselves when they make mistakes.

Instead of: "Ugh, I’m so stupid for forgetting that!"

Try: "Oops! I forgot it, but I’ll remember next time. We all make mistakes."

That tiny shift in language models self-compassion. It tells your child, “It’s okay to be human. We learn and move forward.”

Affirmations Are Tools for Growth

Positive affirmations aren’t just fluffy feel-good phrases: they’re powerful tools that build resilience and self-esteem. When kids repeat phrases like:

• “I can try again.”

• “I’m learning something new every day.”

• “I am kind, and I matter.”

  
  

…they’re creating a personal inner library of supportive thoughts.

Make it a habit: say affirmations together in the mirror in the morning or make up silly songs using their names and positive traits. Even better? Point out real-life examples. “You tried again when the blocks fell down. You’re listening to your affirmations!”

Build a Home of Encouraging Words

The tone we set at home becomes the foundation of how children speak to themselves and others. Try to:

• Replace sarcasm with sincerity.

• Highlight effort over results.

• Let kids hear you compliment yourself once in a while. “I’m proud of how patient I was today.”

  
  

And remember, when you model healthy self-talk, your child learns that it’s safe to be both honest and kind with themselves.

Unique Positive Affirmations for Kids

These go beyond the typical "I am strong" and help build identity, curiosity, and self-worth:

• I am a puzzle-solver and a wonder-finder.

• My ideas have value, even when they’re still growing.

• Kindness is my superpower, and I use it often.

• Mistakes are part of my story and they help me get stronger.

• I am allowed to take up space and ask questions.

• I am brave enough to be myself, even if I stand alone.

• Today is a day I’ve never seen before. I’ll explore it with joy.

• I bring light just by showing up.

Encouraging Phrases That Build Confidence

Use these during everyday moments: getting dressed, heading to school, making choices, etc.

• You have a good mind and it’s getting even stronger.

• I see how hard you’re trying. That matters most to me.

• You don’t need to be perfect to be important.

• You’re figuring things out in your own beautiful way.

• Even when today feels tricky, I know you’re learning.

• What you say matters. I love hearing your thoughts.

• I trust you to find your way, and I’m right here if you need help.

A Simple Phrase Can Become a Lifelong Companion

If there’s one thing to take away, it’s this: your words matter. More than toys, more than routines, more than rewards. It’s your language that lasts.

Help your child build an inner voice that encourages, uplifts, and motivates. It starts with you, and it starts today.

By Brianna VanValkenburg